i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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