sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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