My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
