More tranny stories later!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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