Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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