It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
