i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
