Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
