I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
