You just made me feel so damn special
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize