It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
