whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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