i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
