Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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