My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
