i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
