Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
