we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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