I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
