When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will be naked everywhere
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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