For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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