bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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