haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
love makes seman taste better
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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