I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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