I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my being single is dangerous.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
