this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize