Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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