took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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