Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
