pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
