I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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