I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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