So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
