dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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