There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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