Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
