your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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