I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is my gift to your gina
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I came so hard my ears popped.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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