I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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