what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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