So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's the barista slut.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
