the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
