okay pat passed out under dana's car
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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