hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
