I'm gonna have a badass scar
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
