There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you didnt know i had herpes?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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