if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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