they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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