By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
