dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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