why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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