Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
