i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Damn victory sex feels great
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