i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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