I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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