This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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