Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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