what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize