Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
