Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
