how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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