We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
